When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

Initially of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Common issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t a denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and inspecting their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At this time we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re fascinated with a sober (utterly alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however in the event you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (that means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you are feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other means. Should you’re not consuming through the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her guide, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for not less than 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely will not be doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you are feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks to your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to only see in the event you might make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is de facto what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. Should you spend plenty of time bargaining with your self each time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in plenty of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You won’t even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply change into a part of your interior chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No exhausting alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continually shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down each day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply determine that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I wouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when fascinated with alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the idea that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and real looking, mannequin to make use of with regards to speaking about alcohol is the concept of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The fantastic thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

Should you’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might recommend sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you could have strategies/suggestions for the best way to make this a part of my way of life with my consuming associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, severely, if your pals actually respect and help you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently making an attempt to push you to start out consuming once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definitely would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. You could work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to interchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m pleased with consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. Should you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam